Some Secrets Aren't Meant to be Told
by Exceeds Expectations
Summary: The first secret she tells him is that she's not like her cousins, and she doesn't care about house feuds and this stupid rivalry. Then there's another secret, when she's fifteen, and all she wants is him. Lily/Scorpius, Rose/Scorpius


The first secret she tells him is that she's not like her cousins, and she doesn't care about house feuds and this stupid rivalry that's older than the scarlet train they're on. She doesn't know why he needs to know, (_he just does_) so she tells him with eye contact, brown on grey, and she says, "_Scorpius_." and because she didn't say "_Malfoy_" it's all she has to say and then he knows. And she's glad because she finds herself wearing Slytherin green and sitting to his left on her first night in Hogwarts.

* * *

Then there's another secret, when she's fifteen, with long blonde lashes and longer ginger hair, and she wants to keep _this_ secret close. She's not sure why, but she likes having this one to herself. She's never been shy and she's certainly never held anything back, but she watches him with a casual arm around Rose and her boiling blood almost soothes her sinking heart. _Almost._

She doesn't mean to tell him, honestly, and she'll forever promise Rose that it was an accident. But somehow they end up alone, and he's talking to her like they've been friends for years (_and they have really, haven't they?_) and his eyes never leave hers until, _oops_, she stumbles forward into his arms and, _oh my_, they're both dazed and confused and then, _bloody hell_, his lips are like clouds and sunshine all at once.

And she tells him then, through the whispers that tumble from her lips to his, that she loves him. And he swallows her admission because he doesn't want the words to sit on her tongue and wait for an answer that won't ever come. She pretends that her own words, echoing around her head, are his, and when she hears Rose's shriek she pretends that the guilt isn't going to drown her and looks her in the eye.

There's another secret she tells him then, and it's wordless once again, just shoulders pushed back and head held high and defiance in her eyes and stubbornness on her lips and it all screams "_I'm not sorry and I'd do it again_" and she knows he likes it.

* * *

The last secret she tells him is a bit of a silly one. It's a secret, yes, but only because it's a lie.

She tells him, "_You're perfect for each other._" and she stands there in a sky blue gown with her hair pinned back and her freckles like tiny love bites on her shoulders. And his eyes flick to hers when he says, "I do." and then back to his bride, back to Rose, and then suddenly he's a married man and she has to let go.

And she can't, so she does the only thing she can think of.

She apparates to Romania and never looks back.

* * *

The morning after the wedding, she is gone. Scorpius finds a note on the kitchen table and reads it with vacant eyes. His bride sidles up behind him, a gentle hand on his arm and a kiss to his neck, and begins to read over his shoulder.

_I hope you have everything you have ever wished for and I hope I can one day be as happy as you two._

_I love you.  
_

_Love,  
Lily  
_  
And even though she didn't address it to anyone, he knows Rose will think it's for her. But he knows, Scorpius knows it's not, and that's okay. Because it's not really a secret is it?

* * *

She spends the rest of her life taming beautiful, wild, misunderstood dragons in the Romanian countryside. She never marries and she never falls in love (_again_). She spends most of her time with fiery, fire-y creatures that don't ask questions.

She never returns home and she never writes to anyone but her parents. And even then, the letters are forced and formal. She ignores it when they update her on the lives of Rose and Scorpius' daughters, or the happy couple themselves, and instead asks how Nana Molly is, or how Uncle Ron is doing with his bad leg.

They never ask about her new lifestyle and so she simply doesn't tell them.

It's her own fault really, when she dies with an apology on her lips, old and alone (_and in love with a boy long gone, replaced by a man she never let herself know_).

And to the rest of them, her life is nothing but a secret.


End file.
